Situational Depression

This situational depression
It's got the best of me...all my energy
and it took the hunger out of me
Starving days on end, doesn't become starving
when the hunger pain goes away
Situational anorexia is what we'll say
Someday it will go away
Just as the pain in her heart, and the bruises to her soul
She dies to him, because he doesn't know.. she loves
him still, and just can't show
She dies to herself, the mistakes she made..
the acts she did, the walks in his room, and the comments made
Out of pride and the stories she was told,,,
shejust couldn't bear
So she acted out of dispair..
Situational Tourment is what we will call her state, .. she beats up
every single mistake
and every chance she has to apologize,
and she watches it pass her by, thinking
he just wont care, it just doesnt matter,
Situational Adversion is what we call it
just in case he spits in my face... and calls me a whore
screaming on top.. she never loved me anyway
Situational Disillusionment.. lost inside her own trapped feelings
pinballed through feelings, thoughts and fears... love conquered all
and shortly the relationship...
So here she sits,
crying into the food that does not exist
cutting flames into her soul, burning away
with every spiteful word
dying to cry out... and apologize
Situational Agony...
I choose not to call